His Ring, Her Phone
by Undercover-Dark-Knight
Summary: An Athrun/Luna fanfic. Shinn commits suicide at the end of GSD, and Cagalli dies of cancer, so kinda AU. This fic charts what could have been if they'd turned to each other for comfort. Probably not romance, but im sure some out there will squint enough.
1. Chapter 1

Hi there! This is my first-ever GS/GSD fanfic, and i've had it in-progress for a while. Initially the 4 chapters were a single document, but it got kinda unwieldy and that many changing viewpoints inside a single chapter is just... bad, so i split it into 4 chapters.

This chapter is Luna's POV. If the "he's" and "she's" are confusing you, please bear with it until the end of the chapter, then I'll explain.

Disclaimer: Bandai/Sunrise is awesome and owns pretty much every piece of intellectual property related to Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I imagined Shinn's death. That's about it.

* * *

She hated it.

She hated her life, her job, her boss, her home, everything.

But most of all, she hated herself.

He never saw her as more than a friend with benefits. To him, it was always Stellar, Stellar, Stellar. Stellar was his entire life. Even after Stellar died, she knew that she would always be second place to Stellar. Even when he took her, she knew, she could feel it – he didn't really care about her, he just wanted a release, something to take his mind off his own failure to protect Stellar. But she didn't care. Even if she was deluding herself, she still liked to believe it was true; that he cared for her, that he held her because she was someone he wanted to protect.

Even after he'd supposedly killed Athrun and Meyrin, she still couldn't bring herself to hate him. She didn't understand why. She didn't hate the man who hadn't hesitated to raise his sword against his former comrades for it; she hated herself for not realising her own sister's infatuation with Athrun. The man who had almost killed her when she dared to come between him and Athrun during the last fight. The same man who had decided that he'd had enough of this world, and rammed his defunct unit into the engine of an ORB battleship.

Five years on, she still didn't really hate him. She hated herself for not being able to help him see the sinister workings behind the Chairman's illuminating words.

At the end of the war, she'd been offered a place on the newly repaired Minerva, but instead she chose to resign her commission instead and try to live a civilian life. It wasn't as if the military pension was meagre, if anything, ZAFT had more than enough money to pay the survivors considering the losses suffered by them when the NEO-GENESIS was fired indiscriminately by the Chairman. She just couldn't stand being on that ship. She couldn't stand revisiting the memories of how low she had sunk just to be with him.

Even though she'd been told by many people, including her sister, that she should move on, she couldn't. Every time she thought about him, every time she thought she had had moved on, she never really did. It didn't matter where she was working, nor did it matter what she worked as, it hurt just as much every time she thought of him.

Even now, standing at his grave, a little stone carving next to the monument he always visited when in ORB, she still didn't really hate him. Even though all the flowers had been replanted, the railings repaired, the footpath dug up and re-tiled, she still remembered when Meyrin, Athrun and her had visited here first time after the war.

Athrun had only visited once, and then had never come back again. She guessed his visit was out of respect for a former comrade, even if the said comrade had tried to kill you at some point.

Meiryn had come twice after that, but as she didn't really know him that well, it was more out of respect for her sister that she came. After Meiryn married, well… she'd grown a little more distant, and had her own life to take care of. Besides, Meyrin was currently pregnant.

After the fight had ended, she returned to his room on the Minerva to pick up his belongings. It didn't matter, about the only thing worth keeping was the phone he'd carried almost everywhere with him. Although she found it odd that he left it behind in his final sortie, she was happy that he'd done so. Her own room had been destroyed when the Minerva had crash-landed on the moon and with it the photo of Rey, him and her, so the only thing she had left to remember him by was his sister's phone.

As she stared at the little gravestone, which was the only physical reminder of his existence aside from the phone, all she could say was one word.

"Shinn…"

God, she was pathetic. Five years and over thirteen visits, and she still cried. Every single time she visited here. Crying over a man who'd basically seen her as a utility.

Nothing was really resolved by coming here. Heck, all she ever did was spend an hour in front of the grave, reminiscing about her times with him, at the academy, during the war, and that last fateful battle. She rarely said anything, save his name. After that she'd go home, and get on with her pathetic excuse for a life.

As she turned to leave, she saw another person at the cemetery, standing by another gravestone. Although the grave was pretty far away, there was no mistaking it. It's size and unique shape was afforded to only one woman, a woman whom everyone in ORB had loved and respected… except for him.

That was the grave of Cagalli Yula Attha, ORB's representative until about three years ago, and the man would probably be Athrun Zala, the man who had defected from ZAFT twice to be with her.

She didn't know why, but her legs suddenly carried her in that direction. As she neared Cagalli's grave, she knew she was right. The blue hair and green eyes said it all. Although as she looked at the emerald orbs, which had once shone so brightly, they were dull.

"Athrun? Is that you?"

* * *

"She" refers to Luna, and "he" refers to Shinn. I know, it's bad grammar to not refer to something by name first, but it adds to the effect. Well, now that i've told you, I probably killed the effect somewhat. I'll fix it if i get enough "it didn't work" reviews.

Please R & R. Flames are accepted, so long as it ain't fanservice about the deceased characters.


	2. Chapter 2

The second chapter. Same deal with the "he's" and the "she's" here; I'll tell you at the end.

This is from Athrun's POV.

Disclaimer: Bandai/Sunrise owns Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I imagined the cancer that killed Cagalli.

* * *

Athrun didn't care. It didn't matter if she'd put her country before him, what hurt most was that he hadn't done anything about it.

He stared at the elegant gravestone, a unique shape of the emblem of house Attha, down to the very last tuft of the lion's mane.

After the second war, Lacus had worked tirelessly to bring about peace. Enough so that Kira had to use some rather… unconventional means to get her to rest. Even with those… charms, and Lacus' incredible energy as a Co-ordinator, Lacus had collapsed at more than one convention due to sheer exhaustion.

She was different. Unlike Lacus, she was a Natural, and yet, her pride would never let her collapse in front of anyone, save him. But her burden was just as, if not greater than Lacus'. PLANT was, for the most part, unified in its opinion of peace. The selection system for the ZAFT high council helped weed out most potential extremists. ORB was a factionalised country, and its ruling elite was often divided about many issues. Lacus just had to present a motion, justify it, and then it would usually pass. On the other hand, she had to fight tooth and nail every step of the way against various ruling houses who, like the Seirans, held quite extremist views.

All he could do was protect her. He couldn't help her with any of her duties as a Representative. He could only watch as she grew more and more haggard, as her fiery, impetuous passion that she once possessed was whittled down to nothing more than a glowing ember.

One would argue that nobody can protect anyone from cancer, but Athrun knew better. As a bodyguard and a lover, he should have forced her to rest more, make sure she was taking care of herself.

So, nobody understood why he had taken it so hard when she came down with cancer. It was his responsibility, as far as he was concerned.

Six months. Six months was what the doctors had told them. Of course, six months meant three months to put things in order, and then three months to say goodbye. Of course, Athrun didn't blame her. ORB was, after all, more important.

What the doctors hadn't told them was that the last three months would be spent in a hospital bed, and most it hooked up to an IV drip. Watching her like that hurt him even more.

As much as it hurt to see her that way, it was his own way of punishing himself for neglecting his duties. Spending time with her as she slowly fought a losing battle against her body helped ease his guilt, if only a little.

At her funeral, he didn't even make a speech, although he had to admit he probably would have turned it down if offered the chance. As far as ORB was concerned, he was just a bodyguard and close confidant, nothing more. Of course, it became fairly obvious when everyone noticed how he didn't stop crying all the way throughout the ceremony. Hell, even Kira didn't cry half as much.

The press had whipped up a storm when she had been photographed with the ring he had given her. They'd been infuriated when they couldn't find out who had given it to her, so they ripped him apart after the funeral when he had made it so obvious. Enough so that he moved to PLANT shortly afterward.

She had given the ring back to him shortly before she died.

"Take it back Athrun. Find someone else, and… move on. I've done many stupid things… and… and I don't deserve you."

He laughed bitterly. How could he move on, when he owed her so much? He didn't care about the press. He didn't care about how he was second place to a whole country. All he cared about was how he'd let the one woman he'd cared about slip away just like that.

To him, the truth was that he didn't deserve her. He couldn't even keep a simple promise to protect her.

Coming back to ORB to visit her grave was hard on him, but he felt it was something he needed to do. His visits here were a bit of a self-induced guilt trip but at least it was a form of release.

Sometimes, when he came, he would see the shrunken flowers that signified Kira and Lacus' visits. They visited the grave together at first, but with Lacus' tenure as a chairwoman setting a new record (generally the post was held for one two-year term, but Lacus was heading into her third), they couldn't come as often as he could.

He kept the ring as a personal reminder of her. To him, it was as if he was carrying around a little part of her all the time. A part he didn't have to share with anyone.

Even though it had only been around a year after the war before cruel fate had snatched her away, the last four years were hell. He moved around, never really holding down a job for more than a few months before resigning. After all, the job was more something to pass time than anything else. With his father's fortune at his disposal, he had plenty of money.

Effectively, he'd died the day she died.

"Cagalli…"

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't see a former comrade of his approach him.

"Athrun? Is that you?"

* * *

The "he" refers to Athrun, and the "she" refers to Cagalli.

R&R please.


	3. Chapter 3

This was written a little while after the first two chapters (a week or so later), and is somewhat more brief. This is told in a swap-in-swap-out alternating between Athrun and Luna. I'll leave you to work out who is who.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I do, however, own the apartmen... o wait, that's in PLANT, so it belongs to Bandai as well. Drat.

* * *

Despite the façade, the truth was that they really did care for one another. Both of knew that they were being used. But at the same time, neither of them minded, since they were just as guilty of the said crime.

At first, neither of them really saw much more than a friend-with-benefits in each other. He was using her to forget Cagalli; she was using him to forget Shinn. Yet there was some comfort in being with one another. Maybe it was because they could understand each other's loss due to first-hand experience.

She didn't really know what he thought, but she definitely noticed a change that night. While he was around, although she didn't forget Shinn entirely, the sense of loss wasn't as immense. She was even smiling the next morning.

He'd done it the first time out of pity, as he did have an indirect hand in Shinn's death. But her presence helped lift some of the burden on his shoulders. For some reason, he didn't feel guilty when holding her in his arms.

For the first few months after meeting at the ORB cemetery, it was mainly a phone call, a dinner and a night at either person's apartment. It was just a service, and the other party was always happy to oblige. Things changed, however, when the "nights" became a bit too frequent for living apart to really work. On one occasion they spent four consecutive days in his apartment.

Although wasn't really sure if she'd accept, he figured that given the nature of their relationship, sharing an apartment wasn't that much of a change. Heck, it wasn't as if there was anything of hers he hadn't seen before.

She accepted, because secretly she'd wanted it too. Although the look in his eyes told her that it was out of convenience, it didn't really matter. For some reason, being in his arms made it just that much more bearable. After all they'd gotten to know each other reasonably well, right?

How wrong they were – about each other.

It was after they'd moved in that that accident occurred.

When she'd found out about the ring, she didn't know what to think. Was he taking the entire thing that seriously? Was she ready to move on? As it turned out, she didn't need to worry. He wasn't angry with her finding the ring, but something about his reaction told her she'd just defiled a sacred sanctuary to him. But he did tell her why he kept it.

So it was a shock to him when she produced the phone and explained to him how she was holding on to a relic of the past as well.

It wasn't that neither of them had moved on that was holding them back. It was that neither of them had let go.

Although the situation broke them apart physically, emotionally it brought them closer. The incident made them re-think what the other person meant to them.

To her, it was apparent that he wasn't the friend with benefits anymore. He had somehow worked his way into being an indispensable part of her life. Although she wouldn't say she loved him just yet, she was sure that she did want to be with him.

Being brought up by a strict father, he had always been taught that a de facto relationship was a big no-no. Yet here he was, in one, and breaking all the boundaries he had been taught as a little boy. He wanted to be with her, but could he really let go of Cagalli?

* * *

I got to here and decided to end it, but felt it was a little... lacking. Which is how the next chapter came about.

Again R&R appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

At first, this was a little 100-word scrap that was part of the previous chapter. But I felt that is deserved to be a part on its own. It didn't fit in with the other one, and actaully represents a shift in the relationship. As such, it has its own chapter.

There are no potentially ambiguous "he's" and "she's" here, so it should be alright.

Disclaimer: Bandai owns Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I don't own anything in this chapter, not even the cemetery gate.

* * *

Outside a cemetery in ORB, a blue-haired young man and a red-haired girl stood at its gates. His fist was closed around an engagement ring while she was clutching a somewhat out-of-date mobile phone.

"Athrun, are you sure you want to go ahead with this? We can wait until you're sure that you're ready." Although he'd agreed to it, she knew that Cagalli had actually loved him, unlike how Shinn had used her. It must have been more difficult for him than it was for her.

"No, Luna, I'm sure we should go ahead with it now. We've let it drag on for a bit too long, don't you think? Are you sure you're ready as well?" He knew Shinn hadn't seen much in her, but it still wouldn't be much easier.

She nodded and took his hand in hers.

They visited Cagalli's grave first. Athrun stared long and hard at the grave, but finally he mustered up the courage to speak.

"I… never really did deserve her."

Luna gripped his hand tightly. "You loved her, and I think that's all that mattered to her. I'm sure she'd be happy for you."

Athrun simply nodded. Just because he'd moved on didn't mean it was easy for him to accept. But deep down he knew Luna was right. Cagalli told him to find someone else, and letting go was the first step.

The pair then moved to Shinn's gravestone. It was interesting because, for once, Luna didn't cry. For some reason, she didn't blame herself anymore. Again, it took a while, but she finally spoke up.

"It's funny, because I never really stopped hating myself. I kept blaming myself for his death. Now, it seems all so silly."

Athrun put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you loved him, regardless of how he felt about you. But I think that it's good you've stopped blaming yourself for what happened."

Luna closed her eyes. Yes, there was a sort of… release, after she'd stopped blaming herself. It was as if someone had lifted a heavy weight from her shoulders.

They stood there, not saying anything. While nothing was said between them, they understood each other perfectly. Somehow, the other person had eased the pain.

"I think we might as well finish it," stated Athrun after a while. Luna nodded.

The two of them walked to the edge of the cliff. She held out Shinn's phone, while he held out Cagalli's engagement ring. She looked at him, and he nodded back.

Both of them let go at the same time.

* * *

I will get probably get a bunch of flames for leaving it here and not taking it to their wedding.

R&R please.


End file.
